Swimming

So this year I was faced with a decision: do swimming as I had the past two years, or not do it this year to instead try and work more hours, thus raising more money for college. I chose the latter. In hindsight it was a great idea; I always sort of enjoyed my job, and this way I could manage my own schedule a little easier and be more productive and responsible, all the while making more money.

Boy was I wrong.

For one, I miss swimming... a lot. Yes, I admit it. A lot of my friends told me I would regret this decision, but I didn't listen. I am so stubborn sometimes. Another way I was wrong is that even though I could now manage my schedule, it didn't make me any less busy. I missed out on a lot of friend and family outings, and instead spent it with customers. Don't get me wrong, as I've said before in this blog I find my job interesting sometimes, just seeing the people I see. It doesn't match my love for swimming though. Third reason is the whole reason I did it was to save money. Well yes, because I worked a lot more hours I made more money. But I also spent it a lot.

And then I had a "what if"  moment:

What if I had just kept swimming? What if I had just worked weekends like I had originally planned? I could have just made sure to save my money better, to not go out to eat as much, and to watch my paychecks.

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda.

Now though, I think about swimming all the time. I miss the ability to be alone, yet somehow still be with my teammates swimming in the lane with me. I miss the sound of the water in my ears. I miss the usual routine of asking people, "Will you help me put my cap on?" and "Will you please stretch my shoulders?" I miss spending the first lap of a 500 thinking of a good song, then spending the rest of the set singing the lyrics to that song in my head over and over again until I realized I was almost done, and that the song that was in my head seemingly a minute ago, was long gone and replaced by my thoughts. Yes, fellow swimmers, I may sound crazy, but I even miss when I swam freestyle and every time I turned my head to breathe I could see my coach holding a strawberry milkshake mouthing to me and cupping his hands a certain way until I changed my arm position to his liking.

I probably sound like I'm ranting right now, and maybe I am. But what I am trying to say is don't stop something you love for something that you think may help. Without the thing you look forward to, you will feel less motivated, and without that the thing you are working toward won't seem as big.

Unless it is truly needed, or something completely worth it, don't give up on something and end up getting really excited whenever the smell of chlorine comes into contact with you. Okay, now I definitely sound crazy. Really though, stay with what you want before doing what you think will be better for you. Sometimes you need to, but right now you've got some time to enjoy the little things, like the funny way goggles make red circles around your friend's eyes, or the way the water makes their eyebrows look funny.(598)